A short glossary of whisky tasting

Appearance

Golden - Anything lighter than amber.

Citrine - Too pale to be golden.

Amber - Too dark to be citrine.

Fulvous - Reserve for one which cannot be called brown (because it would be demeaning) or tawny (because port got in first).

Pellucid - Use instead of 'clear' when what you see through the glass is particularly worth looking at.

Lambent - Seems to glow with an inner light.

Limpid - Seductively lambent; only a fool could resist.

Incandescent - Looks as if you've set fire to it.

Polished - Served in a clean glass.

Serene - Hasn't been served with a fizzy mixer.

Plangent - Cries out to be swallowed.

Rich - You've seen the price on the bottle.

Cling - The snail-trails on the inside of the glass after you've tilted it. An absence of cling means you're about to drink a blended whisky with very little malt in it: prepare to be disparaging. Cling is caused by the essential fusel oils in malt whisky, so its presence is highly encouraging.

Nose

Brisk or ardent - One which makes your eyes water.

Dominant - You've stuck your nose in too far.

Delicate - It doesn't make you squint.

Discreet - It probably isn't whisky.

Insistent - It follows you round the room.

Bite - Just as effective as Vick's vapour rub in clearing your sinuses.

Aromatic - It smells of something other than whisky.

Pungent - Smells strongly of whisky.

Fragrant - The sophisticates' word for 'nice'.

Elusive or fugitive - The ideal non-committal comment.

The finish - That which you go on tasting long after your glass is empty. Very much a personal experience, it can be described with whatever adjectival inspiration comes to mind. The last thing that comes to mind before sleep or real life takes over and spoils it all is known as 'the tail' - as in:
"Hmmm... a brisk, heathery finish with a hint of crushed bracken on the tail.'

Taste

Insistent - No good sucking a Polo afterwards.

Lingering - No good trying Listerine either.

Haunting - Stays with you longer than you expect, or perhaps, wish.

Astringent - Makes you worry about your tooth enamel.

Penetrating - You've just lost your tooth enamel, gums and soft palate.

Assertive - Not awfully nice, frankly.

Peaty - A blend of garden bonfire and Dutch pipe tobacco.

Heathery - Not quite peaty.

Nutty - Two of these will do instead of lunch.

Littoral - A little reminiscent of seaweed with a hint of Loch Fyne kipper.

Sanative - A bit like TCP.

Mellow - You catch yourself beginning to believe in the United Nations and weather forecasts.

Bracing - Like getting out of bed on a Hebridean autumn morning.

Light - Suitable for breakfast.

Smooth - Doesn't leave you gasping for air.

Creamy - Clogs the tongue.

Suave - Bland.

Guff - The stuff which makes you go red in the face and start clutching your uvula; blame insufficient maturing and/or too much fusel oil.

Distinctive - Definitely some sort of whisky. A word that effortlessly covers an infinite number of uhmmm... virtues.

Mighty - You happen to know it's something famous like Laphroaig, The Macallan or Smith's Glenlivet. Most of the above rolled into one.

Character

A combination of appearance, nose and taste with other factors thrown in, such as history, reputation, bottle shape, design of label, price, etc.

Heroic - Probably a little overrated but you wouldn't fancy picking a quarrel with it.

Noble - Can be used of any whisky which does not make you cough, choke, cry, pick arguments with strangers or feel remorseful the following morning. Use especially for whiskies you feel deserve to be better-known than they are, like Clynelish, Linkwood, Glengarrioch, Bruichladdich, Talisker, King Henry VIII 12-year-old.

Rounded - Interesting bottle; elegant label; smells fine; tastes nice; does not give you heartburn; useful change from £25.

Affected - Any whisky promoted for its snob-value with advertisements of the only-a-few-of-you-can-afford-me variety.

Austere - Sort of whisky that can only be appreciated after a lifetime's devotion. There are, as it happens, better things to do with a lifetime.

Ascetic - Appealing to all the senses except those of taste and smell.

Numinous - After two glasses you decide to teach yourself Gaelic.

Generous - The ultimate accolade; to be used of whiskies which, to quote famous former excise officer turned writer Neil Gunn: '... recall the world of hills and glens, of raging elements, of shelter, of divine ease ...' Note that a glass or two of a really generous whisky would enable you to recall bens, glens, etc., even if you had lived all your life in Snake Pit, Arizona. Alternatively, apply the term to any whisky served by an open-handed host and, if it brings out the same qualities in you, feel free to call it noble as well. Have another one, why not. Oh, and you might as well make that a double.